If you seek Amy

Ha-ha hi-hi ha-ha ho! Britney Spears, that's whats on my speakers right now. Spears new song If you seek Amy - F.U.C.K.M.E hehe

My sister arrived last night. She will be staying here until Sunday. Feels like not a lot of full days since I have to work the weekend nights. Maybe she can come with hehe.

My photographer work could go better. My last weekend was really not my weekend. Friday ws very quite though so didn't sold to much, but Saturday was so busy I should have sold and achieved a lot more. I just lost the energy and the feeling for it because of it.

This Friday will be some special celebrity event so I should do good. I have to. Will really work.

But I have been sick which doesn't get any better if I just running all night long. Barely had any voice this Monday. Just trying to rest until the weekend. I really wanted to take my sister out tough... well well..

Here's a picture of me in action while working.

See me?

Any who....

My sister is out now any way, meeting friends, which she apparently doesn't do enough at home =P

I feel like staying home, well I really don't feel like it but want to get better before im of running again. Been looking for some pubs and bars on the Internet that's close to my new place so I can apply for a job there. I also been applying for a lot of jobs on the internet.

If I want to make some money I really have to work harder on the photographer job.

They just fixed the gas in our house so we have heat now. before was unbearable. I or 2 things I can't stand or handle is to be cold, especially in your own house, you have no were to go and get warm. An other thing I can't stand is when you badly have to pee and there is no toilet around.

I like my new place. Its more like a home since its a big house with your own room and a big kitchen.Its just me and 1 par that lives on the first floor who I share one bathroom with, then we all share the kitchen. There have never been any rush there yet.

Haha you will see some pics I made though a website called http://www.faceinhole.com/

You put your own face/head in an already existing picture, can be a celebrity, tv, advertising, art and so on.

Me and my sister made one with the Mean girls stars.

I am the first and the 3rd. told my sister she really looked liked a man in hair haha.

I'm a smoker.

Tha Sis! I think this one is really great actually.

Over and out.

xxRebecca

Settled down?

Right now I'm sitting in my new flat my new room. Its quite exiting.
Haven't been able to wright lately, or had the energy. I have been moving my stuff all week, a little every day. I still have one last thing I have to get 2mrrw when I will get my deposit and hand over the key.
2night I actually made 2 turns. Thought I would get the last things on this last turn, with all the sheets and stuff. But Nooo.
My body is so achen. I carried one heavy backpack, my photographer suitcase, one heavy bigger bag with shoes, and my heavy handbag....

any who...

Think I will get back to you later, since I have some much to catch up on and I don't like writing a lot every time.

Now I will grab something to eat, cause I am very hungry, and then go to sleep. Have to go up pretty early 2mrrw.

Over and out.
xxRebecca

Song of the day

Take a bow-Rihanna

Oh, How about a round of applause, Yeah

A standing ovation

Oh,

YeahYeah, Yeah, Yeah, Yeah

You look so dumb right now

Standing outside my house

Trying to apologize

You're so ugly when you cry

Please, just cut it out

Don't tell me you're sorry cause you're not

Baby when I know you're only sorry you got caught

But you put on quite a show

Really had me going

But now it's time to go

Curtain's finally closing

That was quite a show

Very entertaining

But it's over now (but it's over now)

Go on and take a bow

Grab your clothes and get gone (get gone)

You better hurry up

Before the sprinklers come on (come on)

Talking' bout'Girl, I love you, you're the one

This just looks like a re-run

Please, what else is on (on)

Don't tell me you're sorry cause you're not
Baby when I know you're only sorry you got caught
But you put on quite a show
Really had me going
But now it's time to go
Curtain's finally closing
That was quite a show
Very entertaining
But it's over now (but it's over now)
Go on and take a bow

Oh, And the award for

The best liar goes to you (goes to you)

For making me believe (that you)

That you could be faithful to me

Let's hear your speech, Oh

How about a round of applause

A standing ovation

But you put on quite a show

Really had me going

Now it's time to go

Curtain's finally closing

That was quite a show

Very entertaining

But it's over now (but it's over now)

Go on and take a bow

But it's over now

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B8XC7idFyvE

This one is not really special or anything, I just had it in my head all day.

Should I really consider who I want as my support?

There is so much going on right now, both emotion and practical stuff, that I don't know where to begin or tell you...

My photographer job last night was fun, but it was kind of hard, harder then I thought. Mainly cause it was so quite and very empty with people. Maybe a good night to start and practice.

I sold 4 pictures any way which is good consider how empty it was, I was the only one selling and in fact my first night.

Tonight we were supposed to work in Crystal, but I think they will change it to Vendome. Don't mind which actually.

For a short period of time now has been very hard on me. I was about to be homeless with no money.

Where the F is my support group? That's right, home in Sweden.

It's from there I've been getting help and support from. It's kind of funny how desperate I started to become and how the situation really became serious, and my help came from an other country!!

I am usually an open an understanding person who doesn't like to be in the way or really ask for help.

Can people just swallow their pride or what ever is keeping them from help, and just help!

I have been having different kinds of people over at my place cause they needed somewhere to stay, without any payments to me, just a simple thank you! And I live in a small studio for Christ sake....

Something else that I in fact don't need right now is negativity.

I don't have a choice right now how I'm living my life. I need to get every money that I can get.

I will and can't afford to turn a job opportunity down just because it doesn't pay enough.

I have a plan now any way how I will manage and how everything will be alright.

Thank you Ingela and Lennart of Sweden!

Over and out.

xxRebecca

"I'm gonna make it on my own"!

I am really about to loose it, and I don't let myself loose it often, if never.
I don't want this stress and stomach ache feeling. That is way I always stay calm and just breathe and thinking everything will be alright.
Now, I barely can't breathe, I'm about to burst into tears, I have this thing in my stomach...
Not enough I don't have a job, I can only pay my rent one more time with my economy, I now have to move out in the following weeks.
My landlord stooped by yesterday and gave all the tenants notice because they are gonna rebuild this house (which is necessary).

I am so lost right now and don't know.... Where will I go?
Fells like I can't even afford to look at a new place. I can't even pay my fucking rent!
I already started packing some stuff so I wont have to do all in the last min. Just the things I don't really use.
Think, every little thing I have to take with me. That is a lot.
How will I cope? Fuck fuck fuck....

But the worst feeling in this I must say, is that I feel and Am so alone in this.
My parents and family is home in Sweden (maybe I should consider moving home...), friends have their jobs, homes and their security and of course their problems...
People can be so blind sometimes, I'm sorry but true.
I really have to deal and fix this on my own.
And I will!!!

"I don't need you or anybody else. I'm gonna make it on my own.
You'll see, you all will see"! - Movie quote.

Feels good to have let it all out.

One goo thing in all this, I got the photograph job!
I am starting 2night. Gonna go to the office at 9pm, then we are heading to the club Maya.
But I think it was kind if trial before they will let me stay... I think, so we will see.

Over and out.
xxRebecca

*...*

Moon River-Andy Williams

Moon river, wider than a mile

I'm crossing you in style some day

Oh, dream maker, you heart breaker

Wherever you're goin', I'm goin' your way

Two drifters, off to see the world

There's such a lot of world to see

We're after the same rainbow's end, waitin' 'round the bend

My huckleberry friend, moon river, and me

(moon river, wider than a mile)

(I�m crossin' you in style some day)

Oh, dream maker, you heart breaker

Wherever you're goin', I'm goin' your way

Two drifters, off to see the world

There's such a lot of world to see

We're after that same rainbow's end, waitin' 'round the bend

My huckleberry friend, moon river, and me

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=flm4xcOyiCo

I heard this the first time on an Sex and the City episode.

...

I have not been to lazy today.
Don't know if I said before, but this photographer job I applied for called me back and wanted me to come in for an interview, and I was supposed to have an email sent to me with details, but I didn't get any.
I emaild them back and applied yet again and I finally got an answer to come in 2day for an interview. So last night I made a test round to see where it was located and how long it takes. I usually do that!

So today had the interview and the job seems allot of fun and you can end up making good money. I just have to wait and see now then.

Afterwards I actually went to Westfiled.
I applied for some more jobs and headed out my CV, and went back to All Saints.
They basically said they would call in the end of this week if anything would come up.

The restaurant job that I also had an interview with called me actually some nights ago and said they would go with someone else with mire experience. Don't know if that is true but I do really appreciate that she called to let me know.

What now...?

Trying to download some Top model but the Internet is so slow.

Tonight I am actually going to Crystal. I was asked by Tatiana to dance there tonight but I wasn't sure if I was ready... maybe some other time. But doing that is good money.
Good money for a short time!

Over and out.
xxRebecca